Let no man cast asunder

As spring has come, a young man's (or older man's) heart oftentimes turns to love. And why not? This is the time that flowers are on the bloom and green things are coming back with vigor and speedily spreading and growing. I am not exempt from nature's charms. Indeed, I find myself drawn to beautiful things all the more at this tempting time of year. As many of you may know, I have been a widower for fifteen years and while the time has been difficult, I have managed to keep myself busy with a bevy of beautiful ladies to comfort me through these perilous times. So it may surprise some of you to hear that I have decided to cast off the bonds of my confirmed bachelorhood and announce that I will make a special someone in my life my next bride. Yes, I know that it is long overdue for some of you, but I cannot take any more of this torture. I must take a chance at love, like many of you have also done and ask for my beloved's hand in marriage. The thought of going through life without her by my side is so painful that I am not sure I can endure much longer. I am bound and determined to not be swayed by any man, woman or beast nor any natural disaster that would put me off my appointed hour. You may ask what took me so long? I'm not sure I could come up with an appropriate answer. Suffice it to say that I am ready to correct this egregious situation. I shall walk down the aisle proudly clutching the hand of my betrothed as we walk into the second chapter of our lives. And because of this auspicious occasion, I shall always remember this date as the day I changed my life forever and that of my future spouse. I will forever recall this, the first day of fair April, as the day I finally came to my senses and so by the sanctity of this date, I bid you adieu.

What, no April Fools?

Maybe we can blame it on the economy, but I get the distinct impression that very few people are in a laughing mood.  That's probably why I didn't fee compelled to play pranks on co-workers or clients throughout the day. It just seems like the wiser move at present. Oh, I did get one in earlier in the day. I stopped by a client to install a program that I know will cause the screen to blacken and flicker for a total of about one and a half seconds. I didn't let on about that, but proceeded with the installation and noted that the program was wonderful, but that it did have a terrible side effect one time previous. According to my tale of woe, if the screen blackened it meant that the installation had failed and that it would take some expertise to figure out what to do next to the computer. No sooner had I spoken those words than the screen blackened. "Oh, no!" I shouted, putting my hands to my face in fake terror like Macauley Culkin in "Home Alone" for extra measure. After a second and a half later, the screen flickered back on. "April Fools!" I bellowed, laughing out loud. She screamed, but then started laughing along with me. It was an inspired moment and one that I was devilishly proud of. Oh, well, like the Saints and the Browns are always saying, "wait until next year!"