Computer Riding

Following the release of the movie "Urban Cowboy," riding a mechanical bull became a popular attraction at country and western clubs that sprang up across the nation like Gilley's. Recently, I began a new "sport" of riding computers while working on them to strip them of viruses and spyware. Many don't suspect it, but a computer case will support the weight of a man of woman many times its size due to the way it evenly disburses weight distribution. But I must admit it. It was necessity, the heralded mother of invention, that started my computer riding days. My chair, a lovely antique that was part of the bedroom suite I inherited from my maternal grandfather was in need of reglueing and I was afraid that it might lose all integrity were I to continue to use it. So, I plugged a computer in one day and straddled it like a knight in shining armor atop a fine Arab charger. It felt good and somehow it made me feel like I was in more control of directing the computer and putting it through its paces. It brought me back to my earlier days of riding English saddle. I could press the start button and slowly bring the computer from a slow walk into a post. Then, I could allow it to get up to speed cantoring and then running all out at a gallop. There is a certain thrill that I get as the computer whirrs beneath me and I know I am in total control, the master of all I survey. That is unless the vile viruses or spurious spyware conspire to make my ride a less than pleasurable experience. Then, it's a protracted workout of several hours finding ways to reign in their effects until the computer has a restored registry or a new operating system to get it on its way. In the meantime I guess I should keep this new sport to myself, lest people get the wrong idea that I only want to ride their computers, not fix them. But I do promise one thing to ease everyone's mind. I'll never take up computer jumping!