Goodbye to Al

The most over-the-top funeral this area has seen in years took place today. It was the final ride for Al Copeland, the 64-year-old former fried chicken king and restauranteur. Parked outside the mausoleum were several of Copeland's racing cars and motorcycles, like giant sentinels calling for their former master The powerboat that he had raced to championships was there too. The funeral procession was led by his own white Bentley and white Rolls-Royce with a fleet of white limos filing right behind. Copeland died March 23 in Germany while undergoing treatment for a rare form of cancer. He lived fast and he died fast, a modern-day captain of industry, whose vision to make money and to transform his environment were never-ending. He first took a small donut shop and turned that into a huge money-maker, spinning the proceeds for the sale into what looked like an ill-fated effort, a chicken stand in St. Bernard Parish. Yet, with determination and his unstoppable persona, he carried on, ultimately figuring that spicy chicken would find favor in the land of the Cajuns and Creoles. Years later, Copeland recalled a man who purchased one of his early dinners only to return to the eatery for the pleasure of heaving the sack of the remaining chicken at him. But as that legendary sack of chicken sailed through the air, so was the legend of Al Copeland and Popeyes Famous Fried Chicken born. With the help of a jingle penned by local musician, record store manager and artist and repertoire man Tommy Morel, Copeland took his campaign to TV and radio with the inimitable Dr. John singing vocals. Everyone knew that ditty back and forth and loved its distinctly New Orleans...er uh...flavor. Even the cartoon figure of Popeye wasn't planned. It had been Copeland's original intention to honor the hero of "The French Connection" to relate to the speed at which the chicken would arrive once ordered. Anyone who has seen the famous chase scene underneath the elevated train tracks in New York could make that...er uh...connection. It was only later that he was able to secure the permission of King Features to use the likeness of the famous cartoon sailor. While Copeland amassed a personal fortune in the tens of millions, he began spending money on adult toys like speedboats, fast cars, and even faster women. He married four times and divorced four times, producing nine children with women who were striking in their looks. The last two of his weddings were notable for their sheer size and scope. The third wedding took place at the New Orleans Museum of Art with rose petals being tossed by a helicopter as the happy couple emerged from the ceremony. Following that divorce was his final eye-raising nuptials to the blonde bombshell for whom he had left his third wife. That last ceremony was especially interesting to locals who inquired, how after three previous trips down the aisle, he could have gotten married in St. Louis Cathedral. The Church quickly snapped back an answer: his first wife had died and, because it was the only previous wedding that had taken place n a church, the powers that be saw no reason to stop Copeland from going down the aisle at the official church residence of the Archbishop of New Orleans. A dashing figure, nattily attired in tight-fitting clothes, Copeland worked out tirelessly and availed himself of tanning salons, a fact that didn't escape notice when the first details of his disease were made public. Like a cyclonic disturbance, Copeland left wakes in his path. His neighbors were outraged when he took the opportunity at Christmas time to festoon his house with hundreds of thousands of Chrismas lights, creating a public nuisance and a traffic nightmare for all that lived in his sleepy Metairie area. Eventually, he was forced to take the light show to his own building and later tried to tone it down a bit after he had moved to the North shore. Even there he was a neighbor no one was anxious to have. But Copeland, a big kid himself, knew that he had captured the hearts of the young and he would be forever remembered by those who had the spirit of the season. When it came to using his money in far less worthy endeavors, Copeland didn't stop there either. When several of his top aides were investigated for possible cocaine usage, it was alleged that they were shielding their boss, but no one was able to prove those charges. On the other hand, the government was able to prove money being passed to a judge by Copeland for a satisfactory divorce settlement from his third wife. That judge, part of a wide-spread investigation codenamed "Wrinkled Robe," went to federal prison. But Copeland was never prosecuted. He seemingly was made of teflon. The only time he seemed to have lost out was when he brokered a deal to take over Church's Chicken, backed by junk bonds just prior to the collapse of that market. When Church's turned the tables and swallowed up Copeland's empire, he demanded that his spice company remain the official source for the chicken seasoning. That deal turned out be his lifesaver. His contract with Popeyes, estimated in the tens of millions of dollars, fueled his penchant to create new restaurants like Copeland's, Straya, Copeland's Cheesecake, and Sweet Fire and Ice. He may have been a hero with feet of clay and lots of small imperfections, but he was our hero. He even went out with The Chairman of the Board, Ol' Blue Eyes himself, crooning that Paul Anka classic in the background, "My Way." There never was another quite like Al Copeland and I'm positive there won't be another one exactly like him. God rest his soul, at least for a short while, because if anything is sure, Copeland will be frying up chicken with a heavenly choir behind him singing of its joys.

Cautionary tale

I've actually been victimized by identity theft criminals myself, so I was very curious when I spoke to a very close family member about an attempt to steal her identity and rip off her credit card companies. It would seem that the international criminals who are behind this well-designed scheme emanate from India, the epicenter of corporate outsizing. Thanks to the pencil pushers and bean counters who decided to send all of our important account information jobs to the sub-continent, the country has not only lost positions that could be held by out-of-work Americans, but we have now been placed at grave financial risk. There's little to be done about this when, after all, one places the fox in charge of the henhouse. Had the corporate geniuses from AOL Time Warner thought through their plan to have Travelocity staffed by people working for rupees per hour, they might have discovered that given an opportunity to steal thousands of American dollars, their "trusted" outsized employees might stray from the straight and narrow. Such was the case with this family member, who received an e-mail alert from American Express notifiying her that she had requested a change of address on her card and that a new card had been sent to her new address. The e-mail urged her to contact them right away if that was not the case. Thankfully, she was able to spring into action almost immediately because had she not been successful in reaching American Express in time, at least $800 would have been stolen by criminals in Detroit who had received the new card overnight. One would think that notifying American Express would be a simple act: just pick up the phone and notify them, right? Not so fast. These criminals had also stolen her social security number and using that and other sensitive account information available to them through the Travelocity site, they were able to disconnect her phones! If they had only been clever enough to also cancel her cell phone, they would have been able to plunder at will. But the story doesn't end there. She added security to all of her credit cards with new passwords and ordered a replacement American Express card to arrive overnight. When it didn't arrive, she called American Express to complain. They indicated to her that the criminals had cancelled the new card only a few hours after she had made her request These guys are very slick. The scheme began when calling AOL's Travelocity a few weeks back. Normally, when one calls an entity rather than receiving a call from someone, it is fairly safe to reveal personal information. When changing out an airplane ticket, she gave the person on the other end of the phone her Discover Card. After a few moments, he informed her that the charge did not go through. Rather than standing by that card and demanding it be re-run, she elected to give him an American Express card number, but not until after being placed on hold for an inordinately long period of time. It was during that period that the criminal contacted his fellow grifter and, unbeknown to my family member, it was this criminal who gathered the sensitive account information. Along with the other personal information available from the AOL Travelocity worker like the social security number and home phone and fax numbers, the criminals' plan was almost perfect. Had the cell phone also been cancelled, she could not have notified American Express and her other credit card companies in time. Thank goodness for stupid criminals.

Don't take our mayor for granite

Mayor Ray Nagin is understandably upset. After all, WWL-TV had no sooner finished an investigation of his day planner and put his family "at risk," when those nosey Times-Picayune reporters started investigating his family's ties to Home Depot. It was another headache for the mayor, having that pesky Fourth Estate investigate his family ties to the giant home improvement firm. Home Depot, busy putting the finishing touches on its first location in Orleans Parish's Central City, just happens to have a firm that will supply stone countertops called Stone Age, LLC. Stone Age, LLC just happens to be run by Nagin's two twenty-something sons. The fact that Home Depot secured a number of tax incentives and abatements in its plans to move into the city run by hizzoner seems to be a mere coincidence. For his part, the mayor calls foul. He is just a "financier." The business is to be run by his boys, after all, but since he put up most of the scratch, he and his wife will naturally control a small portion of the business. Whether the state's ethics laws were violated would depend on just how high a percentage the mayor holds. Anything less than 25% will probably pass muster. But don't expect any details to be forthcoming from the illustrious leader. The mayor's mouth is mum. And now that Nagin has left his regular gig at WWL-TV to take on a weekly similar time slot at competing station Fox 8, he probably won't have to worry about being grilled by those incovenient investigative reporters.
King James dethroned? That was the New Orleans Hornets finishing off the Cleveland Cavaliers last night 100-99 in a last second thriller. Despite a very impressive 21-point performance by legendary player and Vogue cover model LeBron James, the Hornets posted another scrappy win for the leaders of the NBA West. Who woulda thunk?

Big Easy Theatre Awards Ceremony

What a great night for the New Orleans theatre community! Last night was the 20th annual Big Easy Awards for Theatre, the second time in as many years the event has dealt strictly with theatre. The music awards will follow next month in a separate gala affair. The picture above was taken at last night's gala that drew several hundred devotees of local theatre. I serve on the Big Easy Theatre Committee and helped to nominate the actors, actresses, producers, directors, music directors, choreographers, set designers, lighting designers, and productions that were presented last year for Big Easy Entertainment Awards. The Lifetime Achievement Award was presented to Becky Allen, the local star of stage and screen who is almost a caricature of herself (seen with yours truly). She is such a joy to behold and yet as unique a character as one can imagine. Becky has been on stage since a very young lady and was featured at the ceremonies in a montage of photos and videos that captured her very impressive career for the last four-plus decades. Sean Patterson and Ricky Graham, Becky's partner in crime for many years, made the presentation. Congratulations should be extended to All Kinds of Theatre and Southern Repertory Theatre for the run of awards they garnered for "Doubt" including Best Supporting Actress (Andrea Frankle), Best Actress (Claire Moncrief), Best Actor (Jamie Wax) and Best Drama for 2007. Another set of impressive wins was achieved by the NOLA Project and Southern Repertory Theatre for "The Lieutenant of Inishmore," a very dark comedy complete with body parts and blood. John Biguenet's "Rising Water" won Best Original Play and he was selected as Theatre Person of the Year based on that play's nationwide success and Pulitzer nomination. Le Petit Theatre's Sonny Borey and Derek Franklin picked up the Best Musical for "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," while Gary Rucker got the nod for Best Director with Rivertown Repertory's "Thoroughly Modern Millie." Best Musical Director went to Jonne Dendinger for Le Petit's restaging of "Tunes," first mounted by Ricky Graham and the late Freddie Palmisano. With performances peppered between presentations, the night was a splendid tribute to the entire New Orleans theatre community, which has rebounded nicely since Hurricane Katrina, but still has some big challenges ahead.

Why do men cheat?

Now that the dust has settled over the New York and New Jersey governors' offices, there is an abiding question that must be asked. Why do men cheat? Why is it necessary when so much is at stake that a man can risk it all -- his family, his job, and his station in life -- in order to act on an affair of the heart that on cursory examination seems tawdry and fleeting in substance? This obviously crosses all sexual preference lines. It matters not if the marriage or commitment is recent or long-standing. Given an opportunity to stray and frolic through Cupid's groves, man will literally jump at the chance, if he feels he can do so without getting caught. After all, there are repercussions to this behavior. Someone once suggested that men act impusively because of the ice cream factor, i.e. there are so many varieties of partners available that they want to sample them all. Perhaps that is the case for some, but speaking for myself, I don't think I could keep up with the demands of that many partners to make myself happy. To be sure there is a certain satisfaction that a man experiences -- a type of benevolent mastery over his lady or partner -- wherein he feels completed. Some men go to the extreme here demanding unreasonable accountablilty and obsessive behavior, which can lead to stalking. That is a very unhealthy relationship and I won't consider that in this discusson. However, I believe there may be an underlying reason as to why men feel the compulsion to cheat. It is not that they no longer love their partners, although a loveless marriage or commitment might act as a catalyst. Instead, I believe it is a way of dealing with their own mortality. By having multiple partners, a man considers that he has cheated death and in a bizarre fashion, he fancies himself as above other mortals, at least for the moment. Once past his dotage, man is as faithful as a lapdog, but given full use of his faculties and physical health, he will choose to act on his impulses. I'm not particularly proud of this behavior, but I do accept it as part of man's nature. As there are many who are attracted to "bad" boys, the tendency is to forgive these indiscretions and to somehow overlook the darker side of man's nature. Perhaps that is why Pat Boone was never seen as any great challenge to Elvis Presley or why John Travolta's portrayals of Tony Manero and Danny Zuko are still the rage today. I would welcome any comments.

Nutritional Tidbits

Our "Biggest Loser" group met with a nutritonist about what foods we should be eating and vice versa. I am the only male in the group. No surprise there. However, I was very surprised to learn some things about nutrition that I had not known before. For instance, taking vitamins supplements every day in very much de rigueur and at least one of them must be a multi-vitamin. Vitamins should always be taken with some sort of food item to help transport them through the system. I knew that already. But what surprised me was a one hour window before or after taking vitamins for coffee drinking. Apparently, caffeine cancels out the restorative effects of the vitamins if taken in close proxmity. I don't eat eggs that often, but if I eat two eggs, I must get rid of one of the yokes. If I eat a sandwich, I must lose one of the pieces of bread or the top of the bun and I'm allowed only one-half a bagel. Also, I am only permitted to eat red meat once a week. That means turkey, chicken and veal are in, hamburger and steaks are out. That will be a problem, but I will deal with it. This diet is complicated by the fact that I keep kosher in my home. This puts me at a distinct disadvantage because many of the items that I need to keep, such as whole wheat bread, tuna or salmon steaks, are only available through kosher locations. Fish that is fresh, but not cut with my own kosher knives would not be considered acceptable. So, if I want to continue to keep kosher and to lose weight, I must now eat mostly frozen foods purchased from the local kosher market. I am looking for alternatives, but it is vexing. Ironically, the local Chabad Rabbi Zelig Rivkin and his family kindly sent over kosher candies and hamantaschen as shalach manos (traditional food basket) offerings for Purim. It was literally a very sweet gesture. Unfortunately, I would be completely off the diet were I to enjoy the little morsels with the high calories and off-the-scale sugar content. Meanwhile, more exercise is the way I am attempting to deal with all of the new rules. Steady and slow goes the course.

The Biggest Loser

For those of you who recall, one of my previous blogs ("When the Lights Go Out" - January 15) dealt with my height deficiency. Don't get me wrong. I am happy with my body. It's just that I'm not as tall as I should be for my present weight. I am endeavoring to understand why in the last several years my pants have been shrinking too. Perhaps I should be changing my detergent. What do you think? In any event, the local JCC (Jewish Community Center) to which I belong is holding a new contest patterned after the successful TV series "The Biggest Loser." I have been recorded as to size and weight and I am now working with a professional trainer to shed inches and pounds between now and the next five and a half weeks. Whoever wins gets another 10 personal trainer sessions to really get trimmed. It's a great opportunity for me to work with a trainer and make some healthy lifestyle changes. I know I need to eliminate a lot of sugar from my diet and I need some help with other food choices. I will be meeting with a nutritionist as part of the program this weekend. Meanwhile, even if I don't win the contest, I will be be burning more calories and working out more often. It can't hurt.