This is no April Fool's post

No Time for Fools

There was a time when I was a prankster.
Others' misfortunes made me smile.
But as the years have progressed, I confess, my friends
I haven't felt that way for a while.

As a boy, I loved Larry, Curly and Moe
As they poked each other in the eye
And Laurel and Hardy I confess, they too
Gave me a giddy and not-so-guilty high.

Yet, perhaps it's because I understand now
That no good comes from laughter born of pain
That to love someone means keeping quiet
When they trip and fall down in the rain.

Or when a board is swung full circle
And smashes a bloke on his crown.
I shouldn't break out in a guffaw,
But should emphasize, instead, my frown.

When I see a lady flying forward
After slipping on a banana peel
I must make myself quite contrite
I must not let out a gay squeal.

When I know someone's going to sit
I must resist with all of my heart
Not to place underneath them the cushion
Whose sound gives everyone a start.

Or to offer a stick of gum to a friend
The kind that turns black as they chew it.
I must keep tightly inside my shoes,
Not give into temptation - just screw it.

So I'm guessing you know I am changed
That today when I think about pies
I'm savoring the taste of those tarts
And not smashing them into your eyes.

It feels good to know I am mature
And now follow these simple rules,
But I tell you my friends that it's hardest
On this day that we call April Fools'.

©2011 Alan Smason