Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Last Chance Workout

Howdy, pardner. This here's the Old West and this fancy saloon is called The Last Chance. See that fellow over yonder at the far end of the bar? Yep, the one sippin' water, like a horse. That's none other than Slim Smason. Now, Slim is lookin' pretty good these days, but nigh over a month ago he was sittin' a lot heavier in his saddle. Seems like he made some kind of wager in a contest called "The Biggest Loser." Heh heh...that's some name, huh? Anyway, ol' Slim started eatin' different. He wouldn't have none of them Porterhouse steaks or eat any of them fancy desserts we got here on the menu. Nope. He ate chicken and turkey and canned tuna. Can you imagine? He swore off any of them carbonated fountain drinks like sasparilla and said goodbye to rockgut whiskey. We thought he was a bit peculiar before, but then he started hookin' up with this outfit called the JCC. They put that feller through his paces like a dude at a ranch. A lot of us were balled up laughing at Slim. One feller at the JCC had him doin' all kinds of exercisin' and he was a'huffin' and a'puffin' and sweatin' like a Brahma bull. They worked him so hard he was put away wet every day. But it wasn't long before ol' Slim started sheddin' weight like crazy. He lost two, four, six, ten, fifteen pounds before long and he started lookin' a bit taller in his saddle too. So, today the jig is up. Slim is due to get checked out at the JCC outfit and for them to record just how much weight and inches he's lost. Slim says his blood pressure is a lot lower and he's movin' around a lot more spry these days. Regardless of whether he's the Biggest Loser or not, he's already a winner, he says. Well, that's about all I got to say, pardner. I'm headin' across the street to the other big saloon to celebrate with the rest of the town about how we corralled them Mavericks last night. You know that place, don't ya? It's called The Second Round!

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