Tuesday, April 1, 2008

My momentous announcement

After much deliberation and forethought, I have decided to take my blogging to the next level. I am prepared and ready to tackle the next biggest challenge in my life. So, it is with the greatest of pride that I announce my intention to throw my hat into the political ring. It is time that a man of conviction takes on the powers that be. It is time that a man of vision charts a course for the future that his electorate can take pride in. It is time for me to assume the powers that most conform to my readiness and preparation. I am ready to be emperor! Yes, I know there are some who have held the title in their own inimitable fashion through the years. There were those Caesars and the Charlemagne fellow in ancient and medieval times and in a more recent era Pu Yi in China and Hirohito in Japan. But all of them had decided to be local in their influence and hadn't fully thought through the global possibilities of absolute powers spanning nations and across continents. I am talking about emperor of the planet, something like Ming in the Flash Gordon movies. Now that's something someone can sink his teeth into! It's a role to be coveted and, best of all, it is a lifetime position. I don't have a retirement plan in existence anyway, so this should be a perfect fit. I'm sure it also comes with an excellent health plan. I probably would get a discount for maintaining a supply of able bodyguards, so it seems to me it's a win-win proposition. As emperor I promise to take care of my own business and increase my personal wealth. I would not be a tyrant, unless someone crossed me. After all, what's the good in being a man with absolute power if you can't wield it recklessly? I think this may work out to be a very good plan and I might even make today a worldwide holiday to celebrate my momentous decision. What is today's date, again?

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