Friday, August 15, 2008

A Child Spy

Hmmm...did anyone get as much a chuckle as I did when it was revealed yesterday that among many others none other than the late Julia Child, the "French Chef" from PBS had signed up to be a spy during World War II? And not just any spy. She was doing her spying for the Office of Strategic Services, the precursor of the Central Intelligence Agency! I can understand director John Ford wanting to be a spy. After all, he wore that eye patch. Larry Tisch, who later went on to run CBS was another interesting recruit, but I could understand his being interested in communications and possibly cyber cracking. But Julia McWilliams, the latter-day high pitched, high cholesterol purveyor of pastries and pate? I just don't quite understand her wanting t be a spy. But I can imagine a scenario during the war, while she was living in England working for the Allies, developing of all things, shark repellent. It probably would go something like this:
(Julia walks into the kitchen and picks up a phone. She looks suspiciously left and right and then dials six digits on the phone, which clicks as it spins.)
Julia: (Speaking low in a monotone) Hello. The paprika is very spicy in my paprikash. (Listens) Yes, it's me. Can we talk?
Julia: (Listens) Right. I'm alone. Just my bouillabaisse and me. Hah! Hah! Hah! (Laughs heartily and then snorts)
Julia: Sorry. I can't help making a little joke. You know, a little kitchen humor...a little pastiche among the pastries, n'est pas?
Julia: (Listening) Oh...sorry. (Her mood becomes serious and she starts to speak in a hushed tone) General, I've just finished baking the plans of the munitions plant inside this lovely Beef Wellington. I just thought that was so appropriate, don't you? I would strongly suggest a St. Emilion or perhaps a St. Estephe, if you must. And a little blanched asparagus with some Sauce BĂ©arnaise would be nice too. (Listening)
Julia: Oh, well, I just thought since I had gone to that much trouble that you would at least want to-- Oh...never mind, then.
Julia: (Gets sullen, but then perks up) I should tell you I am working up something else for next week. It's a list of suspected collaborators. I think I'll have it placed inside a deep, dark chocolate mousse. It should be something you'll simply treasure!
Julia: (Beaming) Well, be talking to you soon, general. Have a lovely day, or as they say in France, BOMB APPETIT! Hah! Hah! Hah! (Fade to black)

1 comment:

whalechaser said...

Yes. I too, was SHOCKED to see my dear Julia was a SPY!!!
I loved your little story and was snickering all the way through it!